Relationships are beautiful and it is crazy complicated at the same time. No this is not about all kinds of relationships; I will narrow it down to only couple relationships so my thought is easily conveyed. We are living in a world of equality where every day men and women strive for their “space”, but are we even close to what we are striving for or still constrained in typical paradigm.
At what point do you think who has to pay when going out on date?? This question has been on my mind for a while and was wondering if I can decode the simple yet intricate question. Is time duration a factor? Like a guy should pay initially and later on after four or five times of meet, a girl can pay or can contribute, or a guy should always pay to show his love or just for the sake of being a gentleman he should pay. But then one more question crawls up in my mind, does money makes a man gentleman or his gratitude. I mean why it’s so uncool if a girl pays and why guys are being judged over that?.
When on a date who should pay? Majority (females) says Men and then men are packed with this thought over and over as if it’s only their responsibility.
So okay “HE” is suppose to pay whenever going out on date, then “SHE” is supposed to have sex with him whenever he says... how that sounds? But answer from a “SHE” will be no, so from where this double standard came from?
This is the reality, you can moan at it all you want but the moment you ask a guy that he has to pay for your time, you’re saying this relationship isn’t equal. You’re saying that your time is worth more than his, so he has to pay for it. I wonder what paradigm it sets up.
Here it is what should be...If you go on a date with a guy and you don’t offer to pay your share then you weren’t taught right, If you go on a date and he doesn't pay then he wasn’t taught right.But in our society the term “Date” is a taboo yet people go on date but don’t want to give it a tag of date.Complicated ?? yes Indians are full of it. So where there its a taboo going on a date how can you expect someone to learn about it, but lets not deviate all we need to use is some common sense when it comes to pay the bill whether we tag the meet as date or just an outing.
Lets try to understand this from a different angle, I will always treat my partner how i would treat my best friend. Isn’t that a girl expects from her guy. A sense of friendship to be kept alive till last breathe...dreamy and true. Dreamy because we dream something and in reality we want something.
So when i say “i will treat my partner just like my best friend” i am not applying a different standard on my partner than my best friend. I wouldn’t say to my best friend “lets always go out to dinner and you always pay. I d rather say “Let’s be teammates here in whatever way we can”. So the thing is that proportionately you can do is less than what he can do, that’s a different thing. But if he asks that ”i want to go and have a lavish meal in a top notch restaurant and it will cost around eleven thousand rupees.” and you say “I cant’, i don’t have the money” then It’s his job to say “It doesn't matter, I didn’t do it so you could pay.I did it because I wanna go and wanna take you.” But if you both agree to go on a holiday may be your earning potential is less than his but still willing to contribute on the level you can, means something. Here money is not the case, what means the most to a guy is (revealing the hidden secret) is TRYING. When a guy feels that you're not even trying to contribute, that's when he feels used...cause any guy who’s really confident and self respecting and sees the women is not even trying to contribute, he feels like he’s being taken advantage of..and it has nothing to do with money, it has to do with the lack of gesture.
So even if you are on a different level and you like a guy may be you’re in a different position, figure out what you wanna contribute proportionately or what you can contribute proportionately and treat him as you would treat your best friend. Equality means valuing each other’s time and trying play your that bit which will keep the respect constant.
Inspiration Credits : Mathew Hussey
Stephen Hussey
Inspiration Credits : Mathew Hussey
Stephen Hussey
